Have you ever noticed how quickly women apologize?
“Sorry, but can I say something?”
“Sorry, I just wanted to add—”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
We apologize for our ideas, for our presence, for simply existing. And the sad part is, most of us don’t even realize we’re doing it.
Sis, let me say this with love but also with urgency: you don’t need to shrink. You need to shine.
Many of us have been conditioned to play small. At home, at work, even in friendships, we’ve been told to “tone it down,” to “not be too much,” to “not take it personally.” Over time, we start editing ourselves out of the conversation.
Shrinking doesn’t protect you. It robs you. It robs the world of your brilliance, your perspective, your creativity.
Taking up space doesn’t mean being rude or domineering. It doesn’t mean silencing others. It means bringing your full self into every room and refusing to apologize for it.
Think of a sunflower. Does it apologize for growing tall and stretching wide? No, it just blooms, and in doing so, it inspires everyone around it.
How to Practise Taking Up Space
If you’ve been used to shrinking, stepping out will feel uncomfortable at first. But here are some ways to start:
- Pay attention to your language. Replace “Sorry, but” with “I think” or “In my view”.
- Own your accomplishments. Stop downplaying your wins. Please share them with confidence.
- Use your voice. Speak in meetings, ask questions, and share your ideas. Even if your voice shakes.
- Claim your boundaries. Taking up space includes saying no when you need to.
I once coached a brilliant woman who kept describing herself as “just an assistant.” She downplayed her leadership, her creativity, and her influence, but as we worked together, she began to see herself differently. By the end of our sessions, she had applied for a managerial role she once thought was “out of her league”, and she got it.
All she needed was permission to stop shrinking.
Sis, you don’t need to apologize for your dreams, your voice, or your presence. The world doesn’t need a smaller version of you. It requires the complete, authentic, powerful you.
So this week, I challenge you: catch yourself when you start to shrink. Instead of stepping back, lean in. Take up space because you were never created to blend in. You were made to stand tall.