Discouragement is a Thing: Here’s How to Deal with It and Overcome It

Hey Sis,

Let us get real for a moment. Have you ever had one of those days when you want to give up? Maybe you started a project, a new business, or a personal goal like getting in shape or a degree. At first, everything seemed exciting. You were motivated, focused, and ready to take on the world. Then, bam! Something goes wrong—maybe things are not moving as fast as you thought, or maybe someone said something discouraging—and suddenly, you start doubting yourself. You feel like giving up.

Let me tell you something: discouragement is a thing. It’s real. And it happens to everyone, no matter how strong or successful they seem. Even the most accomplished women you admire have dealt with it at some point. So, if you are feeling discouraged right now, I need you to know that you are not alone.

When I first launched a small business, I was so excited but then came the challenges—some months were slow, and I started questioning if I had what it took to make it work. I thought, “What if I fail? Here is how you can deal with discouragement and rise above it.

1. Acknowledge the Feeling but Don’t Let It Settle

The first step is knowing that it is okay to feel discouraged. You are human! Allow yourself to sit with that feeling for a bit, but do not let it take root.                                                                                           One mistake we make is trying to immediately shake off the feeling of discouragement as if it is something to be ashamed of. It is not. Acknowledge it, and then ask yourself, “What’s causing this feeling?” Maybe it is fear, a setback, or self-doubt. Once you know the source, it is easier to tackle it head-on.

2. Reconnect with Your “Why”

When I was in the middle of my discouragement, I took a step back and remembered why I started my journey in the first place. What was the bigger picture? What did I hope to accomplish? When I reconnected with my “why,” it reignited that fire inside me.

Ask yourself why you started in the first place. Was it to create a better life for yourself and your family? Was it because you were passionate about making a difference? When you focus on your “why,” the temporary setbacks start to look small compared to the bigger vision.

A verse in the Bible, 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (NIV) reads: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So, we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal’’.                   

This shows that whatever we are going through is just for a moment, but it will produce something great for us when we persevere.

3. Talk About It but Be Careful Who You Talk To

Discouragement thrives in isolation. Sometimes, just talking about how you feel can make a huge difference. Find a trusted friend, mentor, or community that can listen, encourage, and give you some new perspective, but be careful. Avoid the people who will amplify your negative feelings. You need someone who lifts you, not someone who will say, “Maybe you should just quit.”

A friend once told me, “Girl, if it were easy, everyone would be doing it.” That hit home because it reminded me that setbacks are part of the journey. It is not a sign that you’re failing; it’s a sign that you’re trying.

4. Take a Break (Without Guilt)

Sometimes, we get discouraged because we are trying to juggle so much, from work to family to personal goals, and it feels like we are not doing enough.

Sis, it is okay to take a break. Rest is productive. A well-rested mind can see solutions and opportunities that a tired mind cannot.

I have learned to stop feeling guilty about stepping back when I need to recharge. Whether it is spending time with family, taking a solo self-care day, or just doing nothing for a while—do not underestimate the power of rest.

5. Take Small Steps Forward

One of the best ways to overcome discouragement is by taking small, actionable steps. When you feel overwhelmed by a big challenge, break it into bite-sized pieces. It is easy to feel defeated when you look at the ‘mountain’ you may have to climb, but focus on that first step, it feels more manageable.

If your goal is to launch a business, maybe today’s small step is researching. If you are working on personal growth, today’s step is reading a chapter of that inspiring book. Every small action adds up.

6. Celebrate Your Progress

We often get so focused on the end goal that we forget to celebrate the small wins. Sis, even if you are not where you want to be, take a moment to celebrate how far you have come. Discouragement loses its power when we focus on progress instead of perfection.

Remember, every step you take gets you closer to your goal. So, did you send that email you have been avoiding? Did you finally finish that project? Girl, celebrate that! You deserve to feel proud of yourself.

Discouragement might be a thing, but so is overcoming it. It is not about never feeling down; it’s about choosing to get back up every time life tries to knock you down.

With love,

Lola