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Ladies, have you ever felt like you are giving your all in a relationship, only to feel like it is not being noticed? Picture this: you light candles, cook your man’s favourite meal, set the table just right, and wait. And then, instead of the warm, fuzzy reaction you imagined, he thanks you politely and asks if you remembered to pay the electric bill. Ouch! It is frustrating, right? Here is the thing, it is not that he does not love you. It might just be that the two of you are speaking different love languages. What Are Love Languages? Let me introduce you to a game-changer: Dr. Gary Chapman’s “5 Love Languages.” This guy cracked the relationship code. The idea is simple, we all have different ways of giving and receiving love. When you understand your love language (and your partner’s) it can save you a lot of misunderstandings and even bring you closer. So, what are these love languages? There are five of them, and while we can appreciate all of them, most of us have one or two that hit the spot. Let me break it down for you. Words of Affirmation For some of us, words are everything. A kind compliment, a little encouragement, or even hearing “I love you” can make our day. If this is your love language, it is not about being needy, it is about feeling seen through words. On the flip side, harsh criticism, or thoughtless comments? That is like a dagger to the heart. How to show it: ·       Send sweet “thinking of you” texts. ·       Leave little love notes around the house (on the mirror, in his bag, anywhere). ·       Celebrate their wins—even the small ones. Acts of Service Now, for some of us, actions truly speak louder than words. If this is your love language, hearing “I’ll handle that for you” is better than a hundred “I love yous.” It’s about the effort—washing the dishes, fixing that annoying door, or making breakfast. These little acts say, “I care about you.” How to show it: ·       Help with things without being asked (especially the things they hate doing). ·       Share the load—errands, chores, whatever makes their life easier. ·       Be consistent. Small, thoughtful actions add up. Receiving Gifts Okay, let us clear this up—this love language is not about being materialistic. It is not the price of the gift that matters; it is the thought behind it. For some of us, a little surprise (even if it is just our favourite snack) can make us feel so special. It’s proof you were thinking of them. How to show it: ·       Surprise them with something thoughtful—even a handwritten note or a small treat. ·       Remember important dates and make them feel special. ·       Pay attention to the little things they mention wanting or liking. Quality Time If this is your love language, all you want is time. Not just being around each other, but really being present. No phones, no distractions—just you and them, doing something meaningful or even just chilling together. How to show it: ·       Schedule date nights or moments where you can focus only on each other. ·       Put your phone away during conversations (I know, it’s hard, but it works!). ·       Plan activities you both enjoy—it doesn’t have to be fancy, just intentional. Physical Touch For some of us, nothing says “I care” more than physical closeness. Hugs, holding hands, or even just sitting close while watching TV can make us feel deeply connected. And no, it’s not just about intimacy—it’s about warmth and reassurance. How to show it: ·       Hug often (and not just the quick, awkward kind). ·       Hold hands, sit close, or give a little back rub when they are stressed. ·       Be intentional about physical connection during the day. Ladies, we often show love the way we want to be loved. If your love language is, say, physical touch, and your partner’s is acts of service, there is a chance you’re both feeling disconnected. Imagine buying expensive gifts for someone who just wants to spend time with you. Or helping with chores when all they want is to hear “You’re amazing.” Understanding each other’s love languages can change the game in relationships—not just romantic ones but with friends, siblings, and even colleagues. Think about what makes you feel most loved and appreciated: ·       Is it hearing kind words or compliments? (Words of Affirmation) ·       Is it when someone helps or takes a burden off your plate? (Acts of Service) ·       Do thoughtful gifts light up your day? (Receiving Gifts) ·       Is it all about spending quality, undivided time together? (Quality Time) ·       Or do you feel most connected through physical closeness? (Physical Touch) Once you know yours, share it with your loved ones and encourage them to figure out theirs. Trust me, it makes all the difference. Love languages are about one thing: learning to love each other the way we need to be loved. Once you crack the code, you will wonder why you did not figure this out sooner. So, what is your love language? And what about your partner, sister, or bestie? Let’s start loving better ladies. You’ve got this!

Ladies, have you ever had a dream so big, that it felt impossible? Like, where do I even start? That was Katherine’s reality. She is this young woman from Lagos who always dreamt of being a successful fashion designer. But life? Oh, it had other plans. No money for design school, no connections, and a mountain of self-doubt. Honestly, she almost gave up. Then one day, she stumbled upon an interview with her favourite designer. This big-time, globally recognized designer started talking about visualization—the art of picturing your dreams as they have already come true. Katherine was intrigued. Could imagining her dream life make it happen? She decided to give it a shot. What is Visualization Anyway? Okay, let us break it down. Visualization is daydreaming but on steroids. You are not just letting your mind wander, you are intentionally creating a clear mental picture of your goals and focusing on them regularly. It is not some “abracadabra” thing, though. This is how it works: when you visualize, you are training your brain to recognize opportunities and act, even without realizing it. Think about athletes. They imagine themselves crossing the finish line, scoring that goal, or holding the trophy. It is not just for sports, though. Business moguls, artists, and even regular people like you and me can tap into the power of visualization to achieve amazing things. Katherine’s Journey So, back to Katherine. Every morning, she would sit in her tiny apartment, close her eyes, and picture her dream life. She imagined herself sketching designs, working with gorgeous fabrics, and even showcasing her collection at the Lagos Fashion Week. She did not stop at imagining. Visualization lit a fire in her. She started taking small steps. She bought fabric scraps and sewed simple designs by hand. She made free outfits for friends to build her portfolio. And when one of her friends posted her design on Instagram? The orders started rolling in. Let me ask you this: Have you ever bought something, like a red car, and then suddenly started noticing red cars everywhere? That is your brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) at work. Visualization triggers that same system. When you repeatedly imagine your goal, your brain starts seeing ways to make it happen. Visualization is not just about “seeing” your dream. It is about feeling it. When you believe it is possible, you build the courage to take risks and make moves. So, how can you tap into this power? Here is the lowdown: 1.     Be specific.  Do not just say, “I want to be successful.” What does success look like to you? Is it running a thriving business? Living in your dream home? Picture the details—see it, feel it, even smell it. 2.     Set aside time. Mornings or right before bed are perfect. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and immerse yourself in your vision. 3.     Pair it with action.  Visualization is the spark, but action is the engine. Use your vision as motivation to take consistent steps, no matter how small. Guess what? A year after Katherine started visualizing, she got her first big break. A boutique noticed her designs on Instagram and offered her a collaboration. Two years later? Her designs were showcased at Lagos Fashion Week—exactly how she had imagined it. When people asked her how she did it, she said, “I saw it first. In my mind. Every day.” Ladies, think about your dreams. What is that one thing you have always wanted but thought was out of reach? Close your eyes. Picture yourself achieving it. Imagine the joy, the pride, the excitement. Hold on to that vision. Visualization is not just some fluffy motivational buzzword; it is a blueprint for creating the life you want. So, go ahead. Start dreaming, keep visualizing, and do not stop until your dreams are your reality.

When was the last time you celebrated a friendship that made your heart feel full? Not the romantic kind of love that sweeps us off our feet, but the steady, soul-soothing connection that platonic love offers. Platonic love often does not get the spotlight it deserves, but it is one of the purest and most beautiful forms of connection we can experience. Platonic love is the deep, meaningful bond between people who genuinely care for each other without romantic or physical expectations. It is the kind of love that makes you feel safe, understood, and valued simply for being yourself. Imagine the warmth of a long hug from a childhood friend or the hours of laughter shared over inside jokes with a co-worker turned confidant. That is platonic love in action. Think about your own life. Maybe it is your best friend who has been your cheerleader through every high and low. Maybe it is that co-worker who checks on you when you are stressed or a neighbour who feels more like family than a friend. These are the connections that make life richer. There is something liberating about a love that does not come with the pressures or expectations of romance. Platonic love allows us to be vulnerable and authentic without fear of judgment. It is the shoulder you cry on after a bad day and the person you text at midnight to share a random thought. I once heard a story about two women, Sarah, and Aisha, who met as strangers at a book club. Over time, they became inseparable, forming such a strong bond. When Sarah lost her job, it was Aisha who helped her polish her resume and practice interview questions. When Aisha was recovering from surgery, Sarah took time off work to care for her. There was no obligation only pure, unselfish love between friends. Their story reminded me of how platonic love can sometimes surpass the depth of other relationships. It does not require grand gestures or poetic declarations; it thrives in the small, everyday moments of kindness and care. In a world that often prioritizes romantic relationships, platonic love reminds us that there are other ways to feel connected. It teaches us that love is not confined to one shape or definition. It can be as simple as sharing your last slice of pizza or as profound as holding space for someone in their darkest hours. Platonic love also helps us grow as individuals. Friends can challenge our perspectives, support our dreams, and push us to be our best selves. It is a love rooted in mutual respect and shared joy, making it one of life’s greatest treasures. Celebrate the Platonic Loves in Your Life When was the last time you told your best friend how much they mean to you? Or thank that friend who makes you laugh until your sides hurt? Platonic love deserves celebration just as much as romantic love does. I encourage you to start today. Send a text, write a note, or plan a coffee date with the people who bring light into your life. Do not forget to open your heart to new platonic connections. Platonic love is proof that life’s most beautiful relationships come in many forms. Cherish them, nurture them, and let them remind you of the boundless capacity of your heart. Want to explore more ways to build meaningful connections and deepen your relationships? Stay tuned to this blog and connect with Lola Owolabi for insights and resources to enrich every area of your life. The Art of Effective Listening: Hearing Beyond Words Have you ever had a conversation where you felt truly heard? The kind of exchange where someone was not just nodding along but genuinely paying attention, not to respond, but to understand? It is a rare experience in today’s distracted world and yet, effective listening is one of the most beautiful gifts we can offer each other. We live in an era where everyone wants to be heard, but few are willing to listen. Think about it: How often do we find ourselves formulating a reply while the other person is still speaking? Or worse, multitasking during conversations? It is no surprise that so many of us feel unseen and unheard. Contrary to popular belief, listening is not just about staying quiet while someone else talks. It is an active process that requires your full presence. Effective listening means tuning into not only the words being spoken but also the emotions behind them. Take Maria and her colleague Alex, for example. Maria was struggling with a project deadline and decided to vent her frustrations to Alex. Instead of brushing her off or offering generic advice, Alex did something remarkable, he listened. He put his phone down, looked her in the eye, and let her speak without interrupting. When she finished, he said, “It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed and unsupported. How can I help?” That simple act of listening transformed Maria’s day. She felt validated, seen, and understood, which gave her the confidence to tackle her challenges head-on. What Makes Listening So Powerful? Listening goes beyond hearing words; it is about connection. When we truly listen, we are telling the other person, “You matter. Your feelings are valid.” It is a bridge that builds trust, fosters empathy, and deepens relationships. People do not always need solutions; they need to feel heard. Whether it is a friend pouring out their heart or a child sharing their day, effective listening says, “I’m here for you.” How to Master the Art of Effective Listening Be Present, put down your phone and turn off distractions. Show the speaker they have your undivided attention. Don’t assume you know what they mean. Ask clarifying questions to show you are engaged and to better understand their perspective. Summarize what they have said in your own words. For example: “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because…” This shows you are not just hearing them but listening. Sometimes,

Do you ever feel like the weight of your past has you locked in place, unable to move forward? Like the pain, mistakes, or betrayals you have experienced have left scars so deep, they have become a part of who you are? If that resonates, let me assure you: you are not alone. Many of us carry invisible wounds that shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world. It does not have to stay that way. Healing is possible, and the journey is worth taking. The Weight We Carry I will never forget my friend Tasha’s story. She once confided in me about being hurt by someone she trusted deeply. The betrayal left her feeling raw and broken, as though someone had carved an open wound into her heart that refused to heal. For years, she pushed the pain aside, masking it with a busy schedule and forced smiles. No matter how hard she tried to move on, the hurt always crept back, through bursts of anger, a wall of mistrust, or paralysing self-doubt. Tasha’s experience is not unique. We all carry wounds from our past, whether heartbreak, failure, rejection, or loss. These emotional scars can feel like chains, weighing us down and preventing us from living freely. While we cannot rewrite the past, we can decide how we let it shape our future. The Turning Point: Acknowledgment Healing starts with a simple yet powerful step: acknowledging the pain. You cannot heal a wound you pretend does not exist. For Tasha, the turning point came when she stopped running from her emotions and finally allowed herself to feel the hurt. She sat with the pain, named it, and confronted the emotions she had buried for so long. It was not easy; it never is but it was necessary. Acknowledging your pain does not mean dwelling on it or letting it define you. Instead, it is about facing it with courage so you can loosen its grip on your life. Think of it as the moment you stop running, turn around, and say, “I see you. I understand you but you do not control me anymore.” The Journey to Healing Healing is not a one-size-fits-all process. It is deeply personal, and it unfolds in its own time. For Tasha, it involved owning her story. She began journaling, pouring her thoughts and feelings onto the page, which helped her process the pain. She also sought help, opening up to a therapist who guided her through the complexities of her emotions. Forgiveness was another step in her journey, though not an easy one. Forgiveness is often misunderstood, it is not about excusing the hurt or pretending it did not happen. It is about freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment As she worked through her pain, Tasha began to see the lessons hidden in her wounds. Her heartbreak taught her the value of setting boundaries and recognizing red flags. Her failures showed her resilience and the courage to try again. Every scar became a testament to her strength, a reminder of how far she had come. A New Chapter Awaits Today, Tasha is no longer defined by her past. The wounds are still there, but they have healed into scars—marks of her survival and growth. “Healing didn’t erase the pain, but it gave her the strength to rewrite her story.” And so can you. Wounds, hurts, and pain of your past do not have to dictate your future. They are just chapters in a much larger book, your story. By choosing to heal, you are choosing freedom, joy, and the life you deserve. Your First Step Healing is not a journey you have to take alone. We are here to walk alongside you, offering stories, insights, and practical tools to help you thrive. Reflect on your pain, reach out for support, and take it one step at a time. Healing is not just possible; it is your birthright. Together, let us embrace the beauty of new beginnings and rewrite the narrative of your life. You have carried this weight long enough. Isn’t it time to set it down and start living fully again? The next chapter of your story is waiting—let us make it a beautiful one.

The holiday season is here twinkling lights, festive music, and the smell of cinnamon and spice fill the air. Beyond the gifts and glitter, the holidays offer something even more magical: a chance to strengthen family bonds. Whether gathered around the same table or connecting virtually, the holidays are a perfect time to deepen those relationships that truly matter. Growing up, my family had a tradition of decorating the Christmas tree together. It was not about getting the ornaments perfectly placed; it was about the laughter, the stories, and the small arguments over who got to hang the star. Those moments taught me that the magic of the holidays is not in the decorations it is in the connections. The beauty of traditions is that they do not have to be elaborate. It could be a weekly family movie night, baking cookies together, or playing a favorite board game. The key is consistency and shared joy. For example, my cousin’s family makes handmade holiday cards every year. Everyone from toddlers to grandparents joins in, and the result is a mix of love, laughter, and a little mess. It is not about how the cards turn out; it’s about the memories they create. We live in a world of distractions. This holiday put the phones away (except for a few photos!) and focus on truly engaging with your loved ones. Ask your siblings how they’re doing, laugh with your children, and take time to listen to Grandma’s stories even if you’ve heard them before. Sometimes, the best gift you can give is your presence. Plan a family outing or cook a meal together. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you’re doing it together. The holidays remind us that family is the greatest gift of all. By focusing on connection, shared traditions, and being present, you can create memories that will outshine any material gift. Long-Distance Love During the Holidays: Tips for Staying Connected The holidays can feel bittersweet when you are miles away from the ones you love. While others are gathering for festive dinners, you might be staring at your screen, wishing for just one hug. Long distance doesn’t have to mean disconnection. With a little creativity and effort, you can still keep the holiday spirit alive and your love stronger than ever. I remember the year my best friend moved abroad right before the holidays. We could not celebrate in person, but we decided to exchange handwritten letters and open them over a video call. Reading her words and hearing her laugh made me feel as if she was sitting right beside me. That’s the beauty of love, it can bridge any distance. Schedule video calls where you can decorate your spaces together, bake holiday treats, or even have a virtual dinner. It might not feel the same as being in the same room, but seeing each other’s smiles and sharing laughter in real time still creates meaningful moments. A care package filled with their favorite snacks, a heartfelt letter, or a personalized ornament can make their day. It’s not about spending a lot, it’s about showing that you are thinking of them. Whether it’s lighting candles, sharing daily photos, or watching the same holiday movie at the same time, these rituals keep you connected. My partner and I once read the same holiday book and discussed it over calls, it became a tradition we look forward to every year. The holidays can be tough when you are apart. Don’t bottle up your emotions. Share how you feel, and remind each other why your relationship is worth the effort. The holiday season is about love, whether it’s shared around a table or across continents. Strengthening bonds, whether with family or a partner far away, takes intentionality, but the memories you create will make it all worthwhile. This season, let’s focus on connection, creativity, and cherishing the people who mean the most to us no matter where they are. So, how will you strengthen your bonds this holiday? Share your stories, start a new tradition, or send that surprise gift. Let’s make this season unforgettable.

A few years ago, I found myself stuck in a rut. Every year, I would scribble down grand resolutions, “Lose weight,” “Save money,” and “Learn a new skill” only to abandon them by February. Sound familiar? It was not until I changed my approach to goal setting that things started to click. If you have ever struggled to set and achieve personal goals, you are not alone. Here is how I turned things around, and how you can, too. First, I realized my goals were too vague. “Lose weight” became “Walk for 30 minutes, 5 times a week.” “Save money” turned into “Save N20,000 monthly in a dedicated account.” When you are clear about what you want, it is easier to focus and track your progress. Think of your goal as a destination and the specifics as your GPS coordinates. Be specific about what you want and why it matters to you. A clear goal is a powerful motivator. Big goals can feel overwhelming, like staring at a mountain you are about to climb. The trick? Break it down into smaller, manageable steps. When I wanted to write a book, I didn’t sit down and churn out 200 pages in one go. Instead, I aimed to write 500 words a day. Those daily efforts added up, and before I knew it, I had a complete manuscript. Divide your goal into bite-sized tasks. Celebrate each small win, it will keep you motivated. Here is a secret: you are more likely to achieve your goals if you involve someone else. When I shared my fitness goal with a friend, we started walking together, and she kept me accountable on the days I felt like skipping. Whether it is a friend, family member, or coach, find someone who will cheer you on and keep you on track. Accountability partners can make all the difference. Don’t go it alone. No matter how well you plan, life will throw curveballs. I remember missing my savings goal one month because of an unexpected car repair. Instead of giving up, I adjusted my plan and made up for it the next month. Setbacks are not failures, they are opportunities to learn and adapt. Give yourself grace when things go wrong, and don’t be afraid to adjust your approach. One thing I used to skip was celebrating my milestones. Big mistake! Acknowledging your progress no matter how small boosts your confidence and motivates you to keep going. Treat yourself to something meaningful when you hit a target. Celebrate progress, not just perfection. Your Turn Now it’s your turn to set and achieve personal goals. What’s one thing you have been putting off that you’d love to accomplish? Start by writing it down and applying these steps. Remember, success isn’t about how fast you get there—it’s about staying consistent and committed. Don’t wait for the “perfect” time to start; there’s no such thing. Start small, stay focused, and watch your goals become reality. Call to Action: Take 10 minutes today to write down one personal goal you want to achieve. Break it into actionable steps and share your plan with someone who can hold you accountable. You’ve got this! Your dreams are closer than you think. Start today, and watch the magic unfold. The Power of Imagination: Unlocking Your Limitless Potential When I was a child, I spent hours staring out the window, daydreaming about being a designer, a writer, or even a model. My imagination knew no limits, and the world felt full of possibilities. Somewhere along the way, life happened responsibilities, routines, and “being realistic” crept in. It was not until recently I rediscovered the incredible power of imagination and how it can transform lives. Imagination is not just for children or artists. It is a tool we all have, a bridge between where we are and want to be. Let me tell you a story to illustrate its magic. Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple, once imagined a world where computers were not just bulky machines for offices but sleek devices everyone could use. People thought he was crazy, computers for personal use? Absurd! But he held on to his vision, using his imagination to create designs and ideas no one had considered. Today, it is hard to imagine life without an iPhone, iPad, or MacBook. Steve did not just dream; he believed in the power of imagination to shape reality. He envisioned what did not yet exist and made it happen. The most remarkable thing about imagination is that it helps you see beyond the limitations of your current situation. It allows you to dream up solutions to problems, visualize success, and take bold steps toward your goals. Have you ever noticed how some of your best ideas come when you are relaxed or daydreaming? That is the power of your imagination at work. For instance, when I was stuck in a job I did not love, I began imagining a life where I could write full-time and work on projects that inspired me. At first, it seemed impossible but as I let that vision grow in my mind, I started finding small ways to make it a reality taking online writing courses, networking with other creatives, and building my portfolio. Within two years, that imagined life became my real life. One of the greatest barriers to success is fear. Fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown can paralyze you. Imagination, however, can be a powerful antidote. Instead of focusing on worst-case scenarios, use your imagination to visualize best-case outcomes. What if the job interview goes better than expected? What if your business idea takes off? By shifting your focus, you rewire your mindset to embrace possibility instead of fear. If you are ready to tap into the power of your imagination, here are three simple steps to get started: 1.     Set aside quiet time each day to let your mind wander. Whether it is journaling, meditating, or taking a walk, give your imagination room

A few years ago, a friend of mine decided to commit to self-care. She bought fancy skincare products, booked spa days, and treated herself to good food. She expected to feel completely refreshed, but she realized something was missing after a while. Her skin was glowing, but her mind still felt cluttered, and her soul felt drained.             Self-care is about what we put on our bodies and what we pour into our minds and souls. In today’s world, self-care is often reduced to face masks, scented candles, and bubble baths. While those things are lovely, true self-care goes much deeper. It is about taking intentional steps to nourish your whole being—your emotions, your thoughts, and your spirit. So, what does self-care look like beyond skincare?        Protecting Your Peace Not everything deserves your energy. One of the best forms of self-care is learning to protect your peace by setting boundaries, saying no to what drains you, and surrounding yourself with people who uplift you. Have you ever noticed how some people leave you feeling refreshed while others leave you feeling exhausted? Pay attention to that feeling. Protecting your peace means choosing what (and who) you allow into your space. ·       Feeding Your Mind with Positivity What you consume mentally is just as important as what you eat physically. If your diet is full of negativity, whether from social media, toxic relationships, or self-doubt, it’s no surprise that you feel overwhelmed. Try this: ✔ Read books that inspire you ✔ Listen to podcasts that challenge and uplift you ✔ Surround yourself with positive conversations ✔ Limit exposure to things that drain your joy Your mind needs nourishment, not just information. ·       Taking Time to Be Still We live in a world that glorifies being busy, but rest is productive too. Taking time to slow down—whether through meditation, prayer, deep breathing, or simply sitting in silence—helps you reset and realign. When was the last time you sat in stillness, without scrolling, checking notifications, or planning your next move? True self-care means giving yourself permission to just be. ·       Doing What Fills Your Cup Ask yourself: What makes me feel alive? It could be dancing, painting, taking a walk in nature, or even journaling. Whatever it is, prioritize it. Too often, we wait until we are exhausted before we take a break. Self-care is not about waiting until you are burned out; it is about preventing burnout by consistently pouring into yourself. ·       Letting Go of Guilt This is a truth many people struggle with: You are allowed to take care of yourself without feeling guilty. Resting is not laziness. Prioritizing yourself is not selfish. Choosing peace over unnecessary stress is not being weak. Self-care is about sustaining yourself so you can show up as your best self for the people and things that matter most. At the end of the day, self-care is about balance. Yes, take care of your skin. Enjoy that bubble bath but don’t forget to nourish your mind, guard your peace, and feed your soul. True self-care is not just about looking good—it is about feeling whole.

What does success mean to you? Please take a moment to think about it. Is it a fancy job title? A six-figure salary? A picture-perfect life that looks good on Instagram? Or is it something more profound that brings you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose? For many of us, success has been defined long before we could figure it out for ourselves. Society teaches us that achievement is about climbing the corporate ladder, earning degrees, buying houses, and securing financial stability. While none of these things are inherently bad, they do not necessarily define you or determine whether you are truly successful. I once coached a woman who, by all standards, had “made it.” She had a prestigious job, a good salary, and the admiration of her peers, but when she sat before me, she looked exhausted and miserable. “I feel like I’m living someone else’s dream,” she confessed. “I don’t even know what I want anymore.” I could relate to her struggle because I had been in a similar situation. This experience led me to redefine success in my life, and I hope it can do the same for you. The truth is that success is personal. For some, it is about running a business they love. For others, it is raising a family, traveling the world, or making a difference in their community. Perhaps for you, success is simply waking up each morning with a sense of peace, and that is enough. It could also mean writing a book, learning a new skill, or overcoming a personal challenge. Success is not confined to societal standards but about what brings you joy and fulfilment. So, let us redefine success—not by society’s standards, but by what genuinely makes us happy. Ask yourself: ·       What excites me? ·       What kind of work or lifestyle makes me feel most alive? ·       Am I chasing success for myself or the approval of others? ·       What truly matters to me? ·       What are my values, and how do they align with my actions? These questions can guide you toward a more fulfilling life. When you stop measuring yourself by others’ standards, you free yourself to create a successful life—not just one that looks good on paper. So, what does success mean to you?

When I started volunteering, I thought I was doing it for others. I wanted to give back and make a difference, but I did not realize how much it would change me. Over the years, I have worked with various groups—young people searching for direction, women rebuilding their confidence, and communities needing hope. In every experience, I walked away with something priceless: perspective. This is what I’ve learned about volunteering that no one tells you: 1.     You gain more than you give We often view volunteering as a selfless act, but the truth is that whenever I show up to help others, I leave with a whole heart, new insights, and a deeper understanding of the world. 2.     It teaches you empathy in a way nothing else can It is one thing to read about struggles from a distance; sitting with someone and hearing their story first-hand is entirely different. Volunteering allows you to step into someone else’s shoes and see life from their perspective. Once you do, you cannot unsee it. 3.     It expands your network in unexpected ways Some of the most incredible friendships and professional opportunities have come from simply showing up to serve. When you dedicate your time to something meaningful, you attract like-minded people who share your values. 4.     It reminds you of what matters Volunteering shows us that the most valuable things in life are not material possessions in a world that constantly tells us to chase money, success, and status. Kindness, connection, and purpose outweigh any paycheck. 5.     You don’t need to have it all figured out to help someone else Many people hesitate to volunteer because they lack time, money, or expertise, but sometimes, someone needs your presence, your willingness to listen, or a simple act of kindness. If you have ever considered volunteering but were unsure where to start, my advice is simple: Start. It does not have to be a grand gesture. Small acts of service, such as mentoring a young person, helping at a community event, or offering your skills, can make a significant difference. And you know, when changing someone else’s life, you might change your own. Have you ever volunteered? What is one lesson you took away from it?

For years, I played it small. I toned down my opinions, held back my ideas, and constantly second-guessed myself. Why? Because I was afraid of what others might think. I wanted approval, validation, and people to like me. One day, I realized something that changed everything: No matter what you do, someone will always have an opinion. You cannot control how others see you, but you can control how you see yourself. So, how do you stop seeking validation and start embracing who you are?  If you are great at something, don’t shrink yourself to make others comfortable. Instead, revel in your strengths. If you have a bold personality, don’t water it down. Your strengths are not a flaw; they’re your superpower, and embracing them will empower you. Stop apologizing for who you are. We say “sorry” too often—for taking up space, speaking our minds, and having boundaries. You don’t need to apologize for being yourself. The right people will appreciate you as you are. Trust yourself more. We often doubt our decisions, waiting for someone else to say, “Yes, you’re doing the right thing.” The truth is, you already have the answers within you. Trust your instincts; they know more than you think. Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Not everyone will understand your journey, and that’s okay. Find people who celebrate you, recognize your worth, and encourage you to be your best self. Set boundaries and stick to them. Confidence isn’t just about speaking up, it is also about knowing when to say no. Setting and adhering to your boundaries is a powerful way to take control of your life. Protect your energy; not everyone deserves access to you. When you stop living for approval and start living for yourself, you will feel a weight lift off your shoulders. You don’t need permission to be great or validation to be worthy. You are already enough. What is one strength you are embracing today? If any of these resonated with you, take a moment to reflect. Are you living on your terms or still waiting for permission? Are you holding back your gifts or stepping into your power? I challenge you to start today—whether it is defining success for yourself, volunteering meaningfully, or unapologetically owning your strengths. The world needs more people who are brave enough to be themselves, and that includes you. Let me know your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your story!