January 2026

When You Have a Good Marriage, But You Miss the Spark

Sometimes nothing is “wrong” in your marriage, but something still feels off. You are not fighting. You are not planning to leave. You still care about each other, but you don’t feel close the way you used to. You look at your partner and think, We are okay, but are we still us? That feeling is more common than people admit. A lot of women don’t talk about it because it feels wrong to complain when your marriage is stable, when there is no big issue. When other people are struggling, and you feel like you should just be grateful. So you tell yourself to stop overthinking. You push the feeling down.You carry on, but the feeling doesn’t go away. It shows up in small moments. In the silence after the children are asleep. In the way conversations stay on the surface, in how touch becomes functional rather than affectionate.In how you miss being wanted, not just needed, and then the guilt comes. Why do I feel like this? Why do I want more when I already have a good thing?Am I asking for too much? You are not. Wanting a great marriage doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate the one you have.It means you miss the connection. Most marriages don’t lose their spark because of betrayal or drama. They lose it because life gets heavy. Work.Bills.Children.Stress.Tiredness. You start managing life together instead of enjoying each other. You become a team, but you stop being lovers, and no one teaches us how to find our way back. Sometimes you realise the spark faded very early, and that is scary. You think, if it’s already like this now, what will it be like in ten years? So you keep quiet. You don’t want to hurt your partner. You don’t want to sound ungrateful.You don’t want to open a conversation you don’t know how to finish. So you smile. You cope. You tell yourself, This is marriage. Deep down, you miss being seen. You miss being pursued. You miss laughter that isn’t about logistics. You miss the ease. The spark doesn’t disappear because love is gone. It disappears because attention shifts elsewhere, and attention can return through honesty. Sometimes that honesty sounds like:“I miss you.” “I feel far from you lately.” “I don’t want us just to exist side by side.” That’s hard to say. It feels vulnerable. It feels risky, but distance doesn’t heal itself. You don’tfix this by trying harder or doing more. You fix it by slowing down. By sitting together without phones. By talking about feelings, not just plans, by touching without rushing. By remembering that you are not just partners in responsibility, you are people who once chose each other. Yes, sometimes you’ll feel like you’re the one noticing the gap first. That’s exhausting. That’s real. Many women carry that emotional weight, but seeing doesn’t mean you’re failing.It means you care. A great marriage is not one where the spark never fades. It’s one where both people are willing to look at the fading and say, Let’s not ignore this. If you’re in this place, please know this: You are not ungrateful. You are not broken. You are not asking for too much. You’re just human, and wanting depth, closeness, and warmth in your marriage is not a weakness.It’s a sign that you believe your love is worth tending. Sometimes love doesn’t need to be found again.It just needs space to breathe.

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When Life Changes Shape: A Woman’s Journey Through Shifting Seasons

No one really prepares you for how much your life can change. Not in the dramatic, movie-scene way, but in the small, everyday moments where you suddenly realise: things are not the same anymore. Sometimes the change comes with joy. A baby you prayed for. A marriage you longed for. A home you dreamed about, and yet, alongside the joy, there’s something else that shows up quietly: discontent, grief, confusion, fear, and it leaves you wondering, Why don’t we talk about this part? I remember the moment it hit me. Life didn’t fall apart. Nothing went wrong, but something shifted. My priorities rearranged themselves without asking permission. The rhythm of my days changed. My body felt unfamiliar. My time no longer belonged entirely to me, and slowly, almost imperceptibly, I realised I was becoming someone new. Motherhood does that. So does caregiving. So does responsibility. So does growth. While the world celebrates the milestone, very few people sit with you in the quietness of what you have lost, the spontaneity, the ease, the old version of yourself who could say yes without calculating the cost. There’s a kind of loneliness that comes with new seasons. Not because you’re unloved, but because your life now speaks a different language. A woman I admire once said that sometimes good things happening in quick succession can push one into depression if the changes are not well managed. Friends may still care. They still check in, but your worlds begin to drift. Their conversations revolve around things you can no longer centre. Your availability shrinks. Your energy changes, and sometimes, you don’t even know how to explain it without sounding ungrateful. So you stay silent. You smile through it. You say, “I’m fine.” You tell yourself, “This is what I wanted,” and both things can be true. You can love your child deeply and still miss yourself. You can be grateful and still feel overwhelmed. You can be fulfilled and still feel disconnected. Changing seasons don’t just ask us to adapt; they ask us to let go, and letting go is rarely tidy. There’s fear in new seasons. Real fear. The fear of getting it wrong. The fear of losing yourself completely. The fear of falling behind in the life you imagined. The fear of becoming invisible. The fear that you’ll never quite catch your breath again, and then there’s the quiet guilt, Why am I struggling when this is supposed to be beautiful? I need you to know that most times, beauty and struggle often arrive together. Becoming a mother, a caregiver, a nurturer, a woman holding more responsibility than she ever has, it stretches you in ways you never trained for. Your identity expands, but it fractures a little before reforming. There’s grief in that fracture. Grief for the woman who moved freely. Grief for friendships that no longer fit. Grief for the ease of your old life. Grief for the parts of you that feel paused, delayed, or forgotten, and yet, there is also becoming. Slow, unseen becoming. You learn patience. You discover a depth of love that humbles you. Your priorities sharpen. Your heart softens. Your intuition grows louder. Your strength becomes quieter but firmer, but no one tells you that becoming requires mourning. To step fully into a new season, you have to honour what you’re leaving behind. Don’t rush it. Don’t minimise it. Don’t shame yourself for it. Some days, you will long for conversations that don’t revolve around schedules and needs. Some days, you’ll feel disconnected from friends who no longer understand your world. Some days you’ll look in the mirror and feel like a stranger to yourself, and on those days, you are not failing. You are transitioning. There’s a reason nature changes slowly. Seasons don’t rush. Autumn doesn’t apologise for shedding leaves. Winter doesn’t explain itself. Spring doesn’t ask permission to bloom. Why do we expect ourselves to be different? If you’re in a season where life has shifted, where you’ve had to reorder your priorities, your time, your body, your sense of self, please know this: you are allowed to grieve and grow at the same time. You are allowed to outgrow spaces and people without resentment. You are allowed to redefine yourself without having all the answers. You are allowed to rest in the unfamiliar without forcing clarity. This season may have changed your pace, but it hasn’t erased your purpose. It may have quietened parts of you, but it hasn’t silenced your voice. It may have asked more of you than you expected, but it has also given you something new, a depth, a wisdom, a strength that only comes through lived experience. So be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. You are not lost. You are not behind. You are not failing. You are becoming, slowly, painfully, but beautifully. Trust me, one day, you’ll look back at this season and realise it wasn’t the end of you.It was the beginning of a wiser, fuller version of who you were always meant to be.

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When Life Changes Shape: A Woman’s Journey Through Shifting Seasons

No one really prepares you for how much your life can change. Not in the dramatic, movie-scene way, but in the small, everyday moments where you suddenly realise: things are not the same anymore. Sometimes the change comes with joy. A baby you prayed for. A marriage you longed for. A home you dreamed about, and yet, alongside the joy, there’s something else that shows up quietly: discontent, grief, confusion, fear, and it leaves you wondering, Why don’t we talk about this part? I remember the moment it hit me. Life didn’t fall apart. Nothing went wrong, but something shifted. My priorities rearranged themselves without asking permission. The rhythm of my days changed. My body felt unfamiliar. My time no longer belonged entirely to me, and slowly, almost imperceptibly, I realised I was becoming someone new. Motherhood does that. So does caregiving. So does responsibility. So does growth. While the world celebrates the milestone, very few people sit with you in the quietness of what youhave lost, the spontaneity, the ease, the old version of yourself who could say yes without calculating the cost. There’s a kind of loneliness that comes with new seasons. Not because you’re unloved, but because your life now speaks a different language. A woman I admire once said that sometimes good things happening in quick succession can push one into depression if the changes are not well managed.  Friends may still care. They still check in, but your worlds begin to drift. Their conversations revolve around things you can no longer centre. Your availability shrinks. Your energy changes, and sometimes, you don’t even know how to explain it without sounding ungrateful.So you stay silent. You smile through it. You say, “I’m fine.” You tell yourself, “This is what I wanted,” and both things can be true. You can love your child deeply and still miss yourself. You can be grateful and still feel overwhelmed. You can be fulfilled and still feel disconnected. Changing seasons don’t just ask us to adapt; they ask us to let go, and letting go is rarely tidy. There’s fear in new seasons. Real fear. The fear of getting it wrong. The fear of losing yourself completely. The fear of falling behind in the life you imagined. The fear of becoming invisible. The fear that you’ll never quite catch your breath again, and then there’s the quiet guilt, Why am I struggling when this is supposed to be beautiful? I need you to know that most times, beauty and struggle often arrive together. Becoming a mother, a caregiver, a nurturer, a woman holding more responsibility than she ever has, it stretches you in ways you never trained for. Your identity expands, but it fractures a little before reforming. There’s grief in that fracture. Grief for the woman who moved freely. Grief for friendships that no longer fit. Grief for the ease of your old life. Grief for the parts of you that feel paused, delayed, or forgotten, and yet, there is also becoming. Slow, unseen becoming. You learn patience. You discover a depth of love that humbles you. Your priorities sharpen. Your heart softens. Your intuition grows louder. Your strength becomes quieter but firmer, but no one tells you that becoming requires mourning. To step fully into a new season, you have to honour what you’re leaving behind. Don’t rush it. Don’t minimise it. Don’t shame yourself for it. Some days, you will long for conversations that don’t revolve around schedules and needs. Some days, you’ll feel disconnected from friends who no longer understand your world. Some days you’ll look in the mirror and feel like a stranger to yourself, and on those days, you are not failing. You are transitioning. There’s a reason nature changes slowly. Seasons don’t rush. Autumn doesn’t apologise for shedding leaves. Winter doesn’t explain itself. Spring doesn’t ask permission to bloom. Why do we expect ourselves to be different? If you’re in a season where life has shifted, where you’ve had to reorder your priorities, your time, your body, your sense of self, please know this: you are allowed to grieve and grow at the same time. You are allowed to outgrow spaces and people without resentment. You are allowed to redefine yourself without having all the answers. You are allowed to rest in the unfamiliar without forcing clarity. This season may have changed your pace, but it hasn’t erased your purpose. It may have quietened parts of you, but it hasn’t silenced your voice. It may have asked more of you than you expected, but it has also given you something new, a depth, a wisdom, a strength that only comes through lived experience. So be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. You are not lost. You are not behind. You are not failing. You are becoming, slowly, painfully, but beautifully. Trust me, one day, you’ll look back at this season and realise it wasn’t the end of you.It was the beginning of a wiser, fuller version of who you were always meant to be.

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When You Have a Good Marriage, But You Miss the Spark

Sometimes nothing is “wrong” in your marriage, but something still feels off. You are not fighting. You are not planning to leave. You still care about each other, but you don’t feel close the way you used to. You look at your partner and think, We are okay, but are we still us? That feeling is more common than people admit. A lot of women don’t talk about it because it feels wrong to complain when your marriage is stable, when there is no big issue. When other people are struggling, and you feel like you should just be grateful. So you tell yourself to stop overthinking. You push the feeling down.You carry on, but the feeling doesn’t go away. It shows up in small moments. In the silence after the children are asleep. In the way conversations stay on the surface, in how touch becomes functional rather than affectionate.In how you miss being wanted, not just needed, and then the guilt comes. Why do I feel like this? Why do I want more when I already have a good thing?Am I asking for too much? You are not. Wanting a great marriage doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate the one you have.It means you miss the connection. Most marriages don’t lose their spark because of betrayal or drama. They lose it because life gets heavy. Work.Bills.Children.Stress.Tiredness. You start managing life together instead of enjoying each other. You become a team, but you stop being lovers, and no one teaches us how to find our way back. Sometimes you realise the spark faded very early, and that is scary. You think, if it’s already like this now, what will it be like in ten years? So you keep quiet. You don’t want to hurt your partner. You don’t want to sound ungrateful.You don’t want to open a conversation you don’t know how to finish. So you smile. You cope. You tell yourself, This is marriage. Deep down, you miss being seen. You miss being pursued. You miss laughter that isn’t about logistics. You miss the ease. The spark doesn’t disappear because love is gone. It disappears because attention shifts elsewhere, and attention can return through honesty. Sometimes that honesty sounds like:“I miss you.” “I feel far from you lately.” “I don’t want us just to exist side by side.” That’s hard to say. It feels vulnerable. It feels risky, but distance doesn’t heal itself. You don’tfix this by trying harder or doing more. You fix it by slowing down. By sitting together without phones. By talking about feelings, not just plans, by touching without rushing. By remembering that you are not just partners in responsibility, you are people who once chose each other. Yes, sometimes you’ll feel like you’re the one noticing the gap first. That’s exhausting. That’s real. Many women carry that emotional weight, but seeing doesn’t mean you’re failing.It means you care. A great marriage is not one where the spark never fades. It’s one where both people are willing to look at the fading and say, Let’s not ignore this. If you’re in this place, please know this: You are not ungrateful. You are not broken. You are not asking for too much. You’re just human, and wanting depth, closeness, and warmth in your marriage is not a weakness.It’s a sign that you believe your love is worth tending. Sometimes love doesn’t need to be found again.It just needs space to breathe.

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Gentle Steps to Enter the New Year Restored, Not Rushed

The start of a new year can feel like a crossroads. For some, it is full of hope and excitement. For others, it is heavy, with last year’s burdens, unmet goals, and silent exhaustion still clinging to your shoulders. If that is you, I want you to know something important: you do not need to sprint to catch up.You do not need to perform, compete, or even pretend. You only need to step into this year with intention, care, and gentleness. Here are a few ways to do just that: 1. Take stock of your inner world. Before setting any big goals, ask yourself: What am I still healing from? What needs closure? What wounds need attention? Write it down, speak it aloud, or simply sit with it. Recognition is the first step to restoration. 2. Release what no longer serves you. Not everything you carried into last year belongs with you this year. Let go of guilt, comparison, unrealistic expectations, and the pressure to “do it all.” When you release, you make space for what truly matters. 3. Create small rituals for restoration. It could be a quiet morning coffee without your phone, a 10-minute journaling session, a walk in nature, or a prayer before bed. These small acts become gentle anchors that remind your soul: I am here. I am safe. I am enough. 4. Prioritise alignment over applause. Not every decision needs to impress anyone. Ask yourself: Does this feel right for me, my heart, my purpose? Choosing alignment over approval frees you from unnecessary stress and allows your growth to be authentic. 5. Lean into community and grace. You were not meant to carry everything alone. Reach out to those who support you, seek guidance, and let people help. And let grace, divine or self-granted, meet you when you fall short. 6. Celebrate small wins. Even a quiet decision to rest, to forgive, to start again, those are victories. Recognise them, cherish them, and let them remind you that progress is not always loud or visible. 7. Remember your worth is constant. Nothing you do, and nothing you haven’t done, can diminish your inherent value. You are worthy of love, rest, and joy right here, right now. Not after you accomplish more, not after you “catch up,” but simply because you exist. This year, let it be gentle, intentional, and soulful. Let it be a year where you rebuild from the inside out, honouring your pace and your journey. Let it be a year where you come home to yourself. When you step into the year with presence, awareness, and self-compassion, you don’t just survive; you begin to thrive.

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Entering the New Year, Tired, Not Inspired

Let me speak gently to you today, especially to the women reading this. If you entered the new year feeling tired instead of inspired, you are not broken. There is this quiet, unspoken expectation that January should feel electric, fresh energy, big goals, endless motivation. Life does not always follow the calendar. Many of us step into a new year carrying grief, disappointment, emotional fatigue, or even unanswered prayers, and that is okay. I see it every day in my coaching work. Women who are outwardly capable, confident, and polished, yet inwardly exhausted. Women who gave all they had last year and still feel empty. Women who love fiercely, give generously, and quietly run on fumes. This year does not need a louder, shinier version of you. It needs a more honest one. Before you rush to set goals, pause. Ask yourself: • What am I still healing from? • What drained me last year? • What do I need, not what everyone expects from me? Growth does not always mean adding more to your plate. Sometimes, it is about releasing, resting, and rebuilding from the inside out. You are allowed to enter this year slowly. You are allowed to redefine success on your own terms. You are allowed to choose alignment over applause. The new year is not asking you to perform. It is asking you to come home to yourself. So, breathe. Let yourself be seen, even in your fatigue. Let yourself be heard, even when your voice feels small. Let yourself feel worthy, even before you have “achieved” anything.Your value is not measured by your energy or output. It is inherent. It is constant. It is yours, and that is enough. Always.

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Starting the Year with Gentleness, A Love Letter to Women Who Have BeenStrong for Too Long

There is a quiet, often invisible exhaustion that comes from being “the strong one.” You know the type. The one who keeps going when everyone else has stopped. The one who holds families, friendships, or workplaces together. The one who rarely asks, “Who is holding me?” If this is you, hear me clearly: you do not need to prove anything this year. Too many women start the year negotiating with themselves, promising to push harder, be better, do more, but what if this year asks for something different? What if this year asked you to soften instead of strive? To listen instead of rushing? To heal instead of hustle? I have learned, both through coaching and my own life, that the most sustainable growth happens when we stop fighting ourselves. When we honour our limits. When we see that rest is not weakness, and slowness is not failure. Starting again does not have to be dramatic. Sometimes, it is as quiet as deciding to be kinder to yourself. To stop carrying everything alone. To let God, grace, and the people around you meet you where you are. So, let this year be gentle. Let your progress be real, not performative. Let your becoming be rooted in truth, not pressure. You do not need to arrive anywhere. You are already worthy, right here, right now. The most powerful place to begin is exactly where you are. Not in the noise of everyone else’s expectations. Not in the rush to “fix” yourself or your circumstances. Here. Now. So, slow down. Breathe. Sit with your worth. Let your heart remember that you are enough, not because of what you do, but because of who you are, and in that gentle space, real transformation begins.

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